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Love Your Life Series, #14: Be your own Valentine… Everyday

As I might have mentioned, I thoroughly object to Valentine’s Day on so many levels. I did even as a kid, when there was so Disgusted Heart Emoji much pressure to pick out the coolest Valentine’s (or at least not the ones that would leave you ridiculed!) and to make sure you got as many as the popular kids (but definitely more than the “outsiders”… seriously? The adult in me wants to know who invented this system!). The only redeeming thing about the silly day was gifts (My mom does holidays really well! Themed socks, and pencils, and body lotions, etc) annnnnnd chocolate. Which you know, maybe wasn’t as great in the long run as 8 year old me thought. But that was well before 250 pound me.

Saints Cyril and MethodiusAs an older teenager (who was actually in relationships most Valentine’s Days), my disdain for Valentine’s Day was so pronounced that my dad starting wishing me “Happy St. Cyril and Methodius Day!” He even made me special cards since, you know, St. Cyril and Methodius haven’t made it to Hallmark’s radar yet. These two brothers were missionaries and Saints and today is their feast day. They are celebrated as the patron saints of Ecumenism (a promotion of unity… something I can get behind!) You can read the whole story Here if you’re interested. Celebrating their day made a lot more sense to me than Valentine’s Day ever did!

But even as an adult, I object to the holiday. People base their whole sense of self around whether they had a date or love for this one particular day of the year. Spouses and significant others put tons of pressure on themselves to get the perfect present and plan the most romantic holiday ev-ah! (And God help you if you’re in a very serious relationship, and expecting a ring that doesn’t appear!)

My most serious objection though, is that if you love someone or something, you should love them hard– every day. So in the spirit of upcycling Valentine’s Day, I propose that you be your own Valentine. And not just today, but every day.

To my (you know, the Valentine’s Day ignoring one) best guess, it would look something like this:

  • Treating yourself with the absolute love, care, and respect you would hope your significant other or spouse would treat you with.
  • Using only language that you’d want someone to use about you for yourself. That is, no negative self-talk allowed!
  • Seeing yourself through the eyes of someone who loved you. You might only be able to see your jiggly butt, but someone who loved you would tell you that you were fantastic.
  • Annnnnnd, maybe also seeing yourself through your dog’s eyes. When I’m not being a rockstar at remembering that I’m Bella, the dog, licks Kim’s face loved and valued, my dog is a pretty big help. Every. Single. Day she is standing at the door waiting for me like I’m the best thing since sliced bread. And she likes sliced bread (and most everything else) an awful lot.
  • Buying things for yourself that you would want your Love to buy for you. I’m not advocating going on a spending spree, but one of the awesome things about getting gifts from loved ones is most of the time they get you. And they buy the nicest things for you because they want you to be happy.
  • Taking yourself to lunch or dinner or your favorite coffee shop. You are a great date!
  • And absolutely buying yourself flowers. This is one of my favorite things to do, especially in the dreary mountain winter. Flowers bring some sunshine into the drab, and make my world a happier place. (The thought that I am not a good flower-er and kill way more than I keep alive is pushed from my brain every time!)

How can you be your own Valentine today and every day? I’d love to hear your ideas and plans in the comments!

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